Signs and notices 06
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Sign in a realtor’s office: "Lots for little."

Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."

Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."

Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."

Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."

Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."

Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."

Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
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Signs and notices 07
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

Sign on a scientist’s door: "Gone fission."

Sign in a taxidermist’s window: "We really know our stuff."

Sign in a podiatrist’s window: "Time wounds all heels."

Sign in a butcher’s window: "Let me meat your needs."

Sign on used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."

Sign on fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

Sign in a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment."

Sign over a cannibal’s hut: "I never met a man I didn’t like."

Sign in a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming."
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Signs and notices 08

Sign at a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

Sign in a science teacher’s room: "If it moves, it’s biology. If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics."

Sign in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."

Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

Sign at the dry cleaner’s window: "Drop your pants here."

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."

Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Sign in a Norwegian lounge: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."