Folks my dream of hookin up wif Nancy Pelosi did not pan out quite so good as I hoped I am the only man in Collins Country wif a Cease & Desist Order issued by the USA Congress. But temporary setbacks dissuade me no more than temporary restrainin orders so I am switchin out my tactics while still maintainin my visionary goal of gittin me a nice woman to help out in the kitchen and warsh my daggum shirt.

In the next county over there is a feller I met at the Dew Drop Inn who imported hisself a bride from the Far East. She cooks just fine for him and keeps his shirts spotless clean. There is the minor inconvenience of havin to sleep wif one eye open on account of she sometimes hovers over him at night wif the fryin pan held over his head but the way I see it if yall is gonna make a omelette you just have to tolerate certain homicidal tendencies.

Innyways I heard on Fox that the Junta in Myanmar done let this good lookin Burmese lady Aung San Suu Kyi outta the daggum pokey and from what I can make out from what that Steve Doody feller was tryin to say them Myanmar Juntas don’t like the Burmans so how’s about if I offer to take ole Sooky well that is what I will call her off their daggum hands in exchange fer a promise to make sure she don’t stray back to Myanmar or whatever that place is called.

Alls I need to know is if that Sooky lady she been spoke for I wood shore hate to repeat that Nancy Pelosi debaucle boy howdy besides I heard them Myanmar juntas can be awful mean once they is all riled up.

Also how likely is it I cood git that Fidel Castro feller to come work on my garden. I heard he been goin through a sick spell lately but I ain’t got but a 25X5 foot plot that I got planted in loco weed even a old sick feller like ole Fidel he cood manage that.
Shore my outhouse kind of drains into my garden but ole Fidel he can put up wif a little backwash caint he.