Can you give your critiques on this simple little piece?
http://dnasab.net/2018/10/23/dnasab-photography-
Built, is a house of redwood and cedar
Filled with love,
Rich fertile soil lives.
Invaders cannot gain control.
A foundation is laid
Protection installed.
Grow and live.
Be all you choose to be.
Lovely, beautiful,
Thorns and all
A pleasure to behold
My Beautiful White Climbing Rose.
7 Responses
TD Euwaite™
30 Oct 2010
Hiro Y
30 Oct 2010
pretty good, though I don’t like "Filled with love"
JED
30 Oct 2010
For me, this is a wonderful analogy.
You used materials that delay/prevent decay and rot.
Filled with your intentions.
Your second verse supports the first and then your third
reveals but just a little more of the fruits of your labor.
Nice piece Sam
Dondi
30 Oct 2010
The words read and flow effortlessly to get from inception to culmination at the top of your white climbing rose. Roses are a wonder to behold, and so like raising children. They need nurturing and protecting, and in return the will give you endless hours of pride and enjoyment.
jenny
30 Oct 2010
Lovely and inviting, one would want to visit such a home, in freedom
and beauty, "invaders cannot gain control" "Thorns and all"
A thoughtful analogy, Kudos
Elaine P
30 Oct 2010
Even the thorns have their place in Nature’s plan.
Semper Fi Reborn
30 Oct 2010
Mesmerizing!
Sam am a poet.