Inexpensive and all-inclusive?
Try Clear Lake.

Start from the way down with Napa; do a winery tour, some have spas at their hotels. You can hike around the Marin Headlands or choose to see John Muir redwood forest and you can stop in Sausalito (very romantic small city right before Golden Gate Bridge), stopping in San Francisco for the night. You can wander around SF for a day or so (more or less depending on what things you both would want to do), and then working your way down the Pacific Coast Highway (Highway 1). Monterey/Carmel and Pebble Beach are nice places to see and be at; lots of small bed and breakfast type inns, and lots of scenery along the way.

As far as finding a winery, I think the best way is to look them up online depending on what types of wines you prefer and figure out which ones you would like to see and tour. They often do have tour packages too. Sausalito has a few nice hotels with beautiful views of San Francisco, Angel Island, and Alcatraz Island. SF will be much different than Sausalito or Napa; you might even feel a bit overwhelmed if you are not from a big city. The best place for a hotel if you are driving is near California Street and Mason Street (they are some of the bigger and fancier ones), or if you prefer to be closer to the shopping and public transportation; find a hotel near Downtown Market Street or Embarcadero. Monterey and Carmel are also small romantic cities along the Pacific Coast Highway and the drive should be beautiful so set aside time during the day to drive down. You can use google and look up hotels in Carmel or Monterey (they are pretty close together; though Carmel has a more vintage feeling and Monterey has the larger chain hotels.)

Congrats and I hope that my list helps!

I suggest Calistoga in the Napa Valley, It can be a little pricey, but you can check it out. From here you can do a day trip or two to San Francisco.

http://www.calistogachamber.com/engine?action=main
http://www.gosanfranciscocard.com/freeadmissions.html#1

Congratulations!

Napa, SF, Monterey, Carmel Valley, Pebble beach, and Halfmon bay are awsome 🙂 I love the ritz carlton in Halfmoon bay 🙂